1. Mayonnaise? Yuck!
  2. 2nd Season of Heroes? Not as bad as we thought, in light of subsequent, even more horrible, developments.
  3. Skechers’ Shape-Ups, though they probably don’t help you lose weight, as advertised, are the most comfortable shoes for standing on a crowded, jerky subway car. Highly recommended for all New Yorkers, as well as people visiting.
  4. Lukewarm water is just as yummy as cold water, and ever-so-slightly more easily metabolized.
  5. Obama was the right choice, America. Congratulations.
  6. Neither dogs nor cats are preferable as pets: each pets equally as well as the other.
  7. Denver, Colorado > Boulder, Colorado > Colorado Springs, Colorado
  8. San Rafael, California > San Francisco, California
  9. Guys with tattoos on their faces are sexy.
  10. Man-Bat # 1 was the first first issue of a comic book I ever bought when I was a kid, and I loved the shit out of that comic book, probably because I felt like I was getting in on the start of something. I have a soft spot for the character — who, let’s face it, is kind of lame — to this very day.
  11. Pac-Man Championship Edition is a fun videogame.
  12. New York: nice place to visit, hate living here.
  13. The Scott Pilgrim movie is probably going to be pretty good. I hope so, anyway.
  14. 30 Rock’s third season was not as funny as the first two, but it picked back up again in season four.
  15. ‘Splosion Man is a fun videogame, until you get to the first boss.
  16. It is not a good idea to go swimming in the Ohio River near Louisville, Kentucky.
  17. There is no God.
  18. Apple = Microsoft = Google
  19. Men with tattoos on their shaved heads are sexy.
  20. Invincible > Walking Dead
  21. The egg came first.
  22. The immovable object moves.
  23. Home schooling is a bad idea for most kids, but I dunno.
  24. A grown woman has a right to choose to terminate her own pregnancy.
  25. Any human female old enough to become pregnant is a grown woman in the formulation immediately above.
  26. White socks are perfectly fine for any and all occasions.
  27. Men with large tattoos that cover their backs are sexy.
  28. The wild turkey should have been our national bird, as Benjamin Franklin suggested, rather than the bald eagle.
  29. My two Saturns were great vehicles; I’m sad GM shut down that business unit.
  30. I don’t understand foot fetishists.
  31. The so-called Defense of Marriage Act should be overturned.
  32. Pooping > Peeing
  33. My favorite podcasts are: iFanboy, Giant Bomb, Coverville, and Escape Pod.
  34. “Clown Science” is a funny phrase.
  35. Guys with tattoos on their penises are trying way too hard. No pun intended.
  36. Nirvana > Pearl Jam
  37. Prince and the Revolution > Prince
  38. Hot water is also good for sipping.
  39. Cedars make for perfectly attractive Christmas trees, and they smell better than pines or firs.
  40. Alan Moore > Grant Morrison > Alan Moore
  41. BP commercials about how they’re cleaning up the Gulf make me angry. YouTube, I’m looking at you.
  42. Kittens are almost always cute.
  43. Kittens > Babies > Puppies
  44. Tobacco is whack-o.
  45. Nose hair is not as disgusting as a lot of people think. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not pro nose hair. Just not disgusted by it. As long as it’s kept clean — there are no dried boogers attached to it — I have no problem with it at all.
  46. Sub-Mariner > Aquaman
  47. Elbows > knees
  48. Dyson makes some great vacuum cleaners.
  49. The world will not end in 2012.
  50. Icee > Slurpee > Slushie
  51. Marin County, California = Westchester County, New York + quirkiness + breast cancer
  52. Tartar Sauce is even nastier than mayonnaise.
  53. So is Miracle Whip — sorry Kraft Foods!
  54. It seems that Rodney Dangerfield actually got quite a bit of respect from other comedians.
  55. The second-place finisher on American Idol is sometimes a more interesting artist than the winner.
  56. Philip Roth is one of my favorite contemporary novelists.
  57. Money changes everything.
  58. If you have two dogs and two cats, you probably do not want to have expensive leather furniture.
  59. Ella Fitzgerald was a little show-offy sometimes.
  60. Remember the time Anne Rice started fighting with people writing Amazon reviews of her books? That struck me as kind of weird and pathetic.
  61. I am not entitled to success in any way, except by hard work and luck. Neither are you. There is no such thing as talent.
  62. The only form of lamb meat I like to eat is the lamb gyro. Other forms of lamb meat are too strongly gamey for my tastes.
  63. Eartha Kitt > Julie Newmar > Lee Meriweather
  64. Chrome runs more smoothly on my Mac than Firefox does, but not as well as Safari.
  65. Don Heck was a better cartoonist than my preteen brain was capable of understanding, back in the 70s.
  66. I like chili, cheese, and finely-chopped onions on my hot dog.
  67. Most popular brands of hand lotion feel waxy, and smell unpleasantly astringent, to me.
  68. The advantages of youth, though real, are often over-rated by the old, and misunderstood by the young.
  69. George R. R. Martin is one of my favorite contemporary novelists.
  70. Men with tattoos on their knuckles are sexy, but only if they also have greasy braided ponytails.
  71. Quitting soda has been harder for me than quitting cigarettes was.
  72. Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows the sorrow.
  73. Men with tattoos on their eyelids are just fucking with you.
  74. I have made more money during recessions than during boom times. I wonder why that is.
  75. That which does not kill me, makes me stranger.
  76. Though always dramatic-sounding, a lot of Bernie Taupin’s lyrics don’t make sense when you really think about them.
  77. Bacon is not really a vegetable.
  78. John F. Kennedy was not a homosexual.
  79. ColecoVision ruled.
  80. Fried chicken is a dish … best served cold!!!
  81. I look better with very short hair than I do with long hair, or normal hair. Everybody in my actual life disagrees.
  82. Autumn > Spring > Summer > Winter
  83. Shaenon Garrity is always right.
  84. Summer in New York is almost unbearably hot sometimes. Other times, like today, it is fine.
  85. It’s hard to find a good Big & Tall store in the New York area, but they do exist (tip of the hat to Jim Hanley for the pointers).
  86. High-pitched loud sounds are more annoying than low-pitched loud sounds.
  87. Greeley Square > Herald Square
  88. Dying is easy. Comedy — that’s hard!
  89. Brooklyn’s Prospect Park should be kept up better.
  90. Brooklyn, NY = Oakland, CA + a There
  91. There is no Good.
  92. Rockaway Park is kind of janky-looking, but I could probably have a good time if I lived there.
  93. There are way too many shows on television where you watch people shop for a house.
  94. New Yorkers get more pissed off about the way you walk than they do about the way you drive.
  95. Dilbert will someday take its place beside Peanuts and Pogo as one of the most critically-acclaimed comic strips of all time.
  96. A good prose novel is the best value for your entertainment buck, 90% of the time.
  97. I love my Boze noise-reducing headphones, though they make my ears hot in the summer.
  98. Gamestar Mechanic is a fun videogame.
  99. Christopher Nolan is the director of several films that I enjoy.
  100. Begging is sometimes a business model.
  101. Gelato is really just ice cream.