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This one is an example of me trying to come up with text that hews pretty closely to the action in the comic. I dunno if I like it better because it does do so, or if I like the ones where my identity jumps around between different characters, or what. Maybe somewhere in between.

Artwork from Comics Magazine # 1. It has been represented to me that this artwork is in the public domain. Even if it is not, I claim Fair Use, trolls!